


I am not going to die; I'm going home like a shooting star.

by SarahJStar



Category: NCIS: Los Angeles
Genre: Badass Nell, F/M, More case based, Nallen because I am powerless to resist, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-02-26
Updated: 2014-02-28
Packaged: 2018-01-13 21:04:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,547
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1240762
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SarahJStar/pseuds/SarahJStar
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nell returns from a 10 month reassingment with the CIA to assist the team with a case that intersects with her time away. The people she left behind have to come to terms with what that time away did and if they can convince her to stay when the case is solved.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

“Eric. Where’s Hetty?” Callen asked as he walked into ops and spotted the tech at his computers.

“Lunch.” Eric replied without turning from whatever he was frantically typing. Callen walked towards him and stood by his side, waiting for him to turn and look up.

Eric sighed and spun in his chair. “That’s all I know, Callen. She said that she was going to go have lunch and hopefully be back in a couple of hours.” He turned back to his computers and restarted his fast pace fingers over his keyboard.

“So in the middle of a case; that is proving to be a complete pain in the ass, and we’re running out of leads, she goes to lunch?” Callen said with a frown. “Yeah, no. She’s up to something.” Callen tilts his head to the side and purses his lips, “Again.”

His eyes not leaving the screen, Eric says, “The answers no, Callen.” 

“You don’t even know that I’m going to ask you anything.” Callen replies as he stares at the back of Eric’s blond head. 

“Yeah, I do. You’re going to ask me to put a trace on Hetty and the answer is no. I’m way too busy.” Eric paused in his typing “And I also like my face arranged the way it is.” Hearing a beep at the opposite computer terminal Eric flies across the room on his computer chair and checks the results.

“Come on, Eric. When Hetty is all cagey about a case and then goes AWOL, it nearly never ends well for us.” Callen implored as he stepped out of the way on Eric’s return trip to his terminal.

“I don’t think that’s what this is.” He said distractedly. Callen narrowed his eyes and leaned against the table.

“What makes you say that?” he asked crossing his arms.

“Hetty looked excited, almost. Like she was looking forward to whomever she was going to meet.” Looking over his shoulder at Callen he added “and not in an ‘I finally get to go and put a bullet in this bad guy’ way. If she is going to get Intel on this case, she isn’t afraid for her safety from the source.” Eric turned back to his console and tapped at his tablet. 

“Yeah, because all of Hetty’s contacts are such good, wholesome people who wouldn’t hurt a fly.” Callen deadpanned.

“It could just be a lunch between friends.” At the lack of a response from Callen Eric continued. “Yeah, I didn’t think so either. That’s why I got Kensi to go and check Hetty’s weapons before she went to stake out Carmichaels with Deeks.” Eric stopped talking and scowled at whatever he read on his tablet and swiped hastily.

Callen widened his eyes and shook his head slightly. “What did Kens find, Eric?”

“Hm?” he glanced up briefly and shook his head. “Oh, right, nothing was missing. Everything was in order. It looked like she only took her standard issue firearm.”

“So you won’t run the trace.” Callen said and Eric shook his head.

“Nope. Busy.” He dismissed and turned on his earpiece to talk to Kensi and Deeks. Callen waited until he was finished and walked towards the doors.

“Where’s Chloe? I’ll get her to do it.” Eric scoffed and Callen sighed.

“If you think she has the ability, sure, ask her. Don’t blame me when she sends you to San Francisco when she meant San Diego.” Callen walked back to the table in the middle of the room and lent his hip against it.

“She’s not that bad, Eric.” He tried to reason, lightly. Eric let out a derisive laugh that had Callen’s brow rise. ‘Bitter Eric’ was something that had been cropping up a lot in the past ten months.

“Compared to the other intelligence analysts Hetty tried to foist on me? Sure, she’s the best of a sucky bunch.” Eric’s typing was becoming harder and less frequent as he worked through his obvious contempt for his most recently allocated partner. “Although, if your chosen job is going to be an ‘Intelligence analyst’ you would have thought that she would have possessed a little of said intelligence.” 

“Eric, where is Chloe?” Callen asked again, slower. He had a feeling he already knew the answer if the amount of work Eric was doing, on his own, was anything to go by.

“I think she’s trying to quit. Again.” Callen sighed. Yep, just what he’d thought.

“We’ve had this conversation, Eric. You can’t keep running off all the replacements. You need the help.”

Eric spun in his chair and threw a glare in Callen’s direction. “Yeah, I do need the help.” He agreed, nodding vigorously. “And I had help. I had Nell, but Assistant Director freaking Granger had her loaned off to god knows where, to do god knows what.” Callen dropped his head slightly and nodded.

He couldn’t fault the techs disappointment of Nell’s reassignment. The entire team, himself very much included, had been vehemently opposed to Grangers decision to give her over to the CIA, when they had requested Nell’s assistance on a classified case in South America, involving the Espinoza Cartel. 

A case that had originally been NCIS’s until the Agency had effectively called dibs, and claimed jurisdiction, as it involved an ongoing investigation, with more far reaching implications than the US Navy. Given Nell was already knowledgeable on the case, her expertise in below the boarder happenings, and her recent successful forays into field work, it was agreed that she would be an asset to their mission.

Nell had to been opposed to going, at first. Until she was read in on the case, in a private meeting with the CIA, Hetty and Granger. She had returned from the boat shed and met everyone in the bull pen, where she informed them of her change of heart. A cacophony of sound erupted from all the Agents and Eric; but she had just smiled sweetly and told them ‘it was something she had to do’. An hour, plenty of hugs, advice and orders to come back soon and safely, later; she was gone.

That had been ten months ago. Ten months of intermittent communications with Hetty and Granger, with no signs her return. Any request for information about her well being or location was shot down under the guise of national security; all they knew was that she would be informed of her return or in the event of her death; which didn’t assuage anyone’s worries for her safety. Ten months of nearly fifteen replacements that couldn’t hold a candle to Nell and her genius-like abilities and quick thinking. The old adage of ‘you don’t know what you’ve got ‘til its gone’ had never rung truer.

“I get it, Eric. I do. We all miss Nell, but we can’t keep waiting for her to come back. We have to work with what we’ve got, no matter how inferior it is.” Eric scowled for a moment before turning back to his computer. Callen, thinking that Eric was just going to be sulky and ignore him, rolled his eyes and walked back to the door when he heard Eric call out to him.

“Hetty’s phone pinged at ‘Jemima’s’, it’s a tea shop on Venice.” Turning back, Callen gave a nod.

“Try and convince Chloe to stay until the end of the case. I have a feeling it’s going to be a bad one and we’re going to need all hands on deck.” With that he left for his car and to make sure that Hetty hadn’t gotten them involved in anything too convoluted.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Callen meets the source and things start falling into place.

The drive along Venice was slow and Callen had been stuck behind the same bus for the past fifteen minutes. Luckily Hetty’s location hadn’t changed since he left ops. 

Strumming a beat on the steering wheel and jostling his knee, Callen was getting impatient and antsy. He had enough to be worried about, what with the target of their investigation, James Carmichael, on the cusp of making a deal to sell -something- to a terrorist organization in Chechnya. And with the man’s reputation and history, that could range from weapons to human cargo. That being all the information they had after their informant was gunned down by unknown peoples, after he refused to come in for protective custody. 

That had been the day before and the deal was meant to go down in less than thirty six hours, from what his watch read. With leads drying up and being no closer to figuring anything out, he was in no mood to go on a wild goose chase after Hetty and her side missions.

Finally escaping the bus, Callen made a few more turns and found himself across the street and down the road a bit from the entrance of ‘Jemima’s’. He was in the perfect spot behind an SUV not to be spotted from the entrance without having his line of sight impeded.

Seeing no glaring signs of trouble, or otherwise, Callen checked his gun and got out of his car, placing his side arm at the base of his back. Keeping vigilant, he crossed the street and entered the small, quaint and exceedingly feminine establishment with a little ‘ding’ of the bell above the door. Looking around he immediately spotted Hetty sitting alone at the further most table at the back, in the corner. An easily defended location.

Hetty looked up from where she was sipping her tea and raised an eyebrow. He raised one right back and made his way over to her. Setting her cup on its saucer, Hetty sat back and folded her hands in her lap. Callen took the seat to her right, facing all exits and stared at her. 

“What are you doing here, Hetty?” Callen started, holding up a finger before she could reply “And don’t say ‘drinking tea’.” Callen said, noticing the flash drive and files at her hand. ”We’ve played this game too many times before.”

Hetty smirked at him and picked up her teaspoon, stirring her drink in small circles. “Seems as you went through the trouble of finding me, although I wasn’t hiding, I shall tell you; I’m meeting an old friend who had some information on our case.” Callen bit back on an angry retort about her keeping things from him and looked around at the half full shop, scanning faces.

“And where is this ‘friend’?” he asked when he saw no one stand out.

“Bathroom. And you’ve taken their seat.” Hetty took another sip of tea and smiled.

“You’re very cheerful for an operations manager whose team is floundering for leads.” Callen observed. “I take it the information was good.” He said tapping the files, when a shadow passed over the table just as a voice spoke.

“As it gets, Agent Callen.” Recognizing the voice immediately, Callen smiled, looking up at its source.

"Nell Jones.” He took her in for a moment. She was different. Older and yet just as young as she had been when she’d left, he couldn’t put his finger on it. Her hair was much longer, reaching to the middle of her back in a chocolatey red shade of soft curls. Her body was still petite but more muscular, the tank top she was wearing showing off well defined arms and shoulders; along with a few scars he was sure she didn’t have before she left. 

His gaze travelled to her legs and her skin tight jeans revealing toned thigh and calf muscles leading to heavy boots that reached just below her knees. Callen would bet good money she had at least one gun and a couple of knives hidden away in them. Along with the gun at her back, if the outline was anything to go by. She looked ready for a fight and the thought made his gut clench.

Looking back into her face he noted an angry, jagged, red scar down the side of her throat that was extremely noticeable against her pale skin; although not as pale as it once had been as she had acquired quite the tan from wherever she’d been. The scar was worryingly close to her carotid and the clenching increased.

Nell smiled at him when she noticed the small frown he had at seeing her scar. “You should see the other guy.” She joked before biting her lower lip and tilting her head. “On second thoughts? Maybe not.” She added with a small shake of her head that had her curls bouncing against her face and shoulders. 

Callen smiled at her, clench easing slightly; glad to notice that she still had her smirk, even if it wasn’t as big as it had once been when she was only ever behind her computers. That was one of the main reasons he hadn’t wanted Nell going off with the CIA; he’d worked for them and was well versed in how hard they tried to make an operative battle hardened so they could stomach whatever morally ambiguous order they were given. He hadn’t wanted Nell’s innocence ripped from her. 

But, then again, that wasn’t taking into account how stubborn and hard headed Nell Jones could be. If she wanted to keep that part of her, no way in hell they were taking it.

Callen was just about to vacate the seat that had been hers, when Nell waved a hand and shook her head. She sat down across from Hetty and to the right of Callen, back to the exits but with a line of sight to them thanks to a large ornate mirror on the wall in front of her.

“If I can’t trust the two of you to have my six, who can I trust?” Nell turned to Callen, looked him in the eye and gave him a small smile. And it hit him; her eyes. That’s what was making her look older. They weren’t as bright anymore; there was a darkness that usual people probably wouldn’t see. But as he saw it when he looked at his friends and co workers and in the mirror every day, he knew what it meant. She’d seen and done things that followed her; haunted her. And it made him...sad. Although, the fact she trusted him to make sure she was safe warmed him.

“So you’re the source.” Nell nodded and picked her cup up from in front of Callen. “That’s what you’ve been doing all this time? Becoming a font of knowledge?” she smirked and shook her head. Callen regarded her for a second “What’s with all the cloak and dagger? Why didn’t you just come to OSP?” taking a sip, Nell shifted her eyes to Hetty and they shared a look that made Callen sigh. He then noticed how she checked the mirror.

“It’s complicated, Callen. This was the safest way.” Nell said as a hand went and touched the scar at her throat. Callen frowned and looked to Hetty, who just stared back.

“But the Intel you have is about Carmichael and whatever he’s selling tomorrow to the Chechen’s?” Callen looked back to Nell, who nodded.  
“Everything I gave you is all I know as of” Nell reached over and turned Callen’s wrist to see the time on his watch “two hours ago.”

“If you have such up to date info, Nell, you should come and brief us. We’re drowning.” Callen knew he was pushing the issue but he had a feeling that he wanted Nell where he could see her. Especially as her eyes kept flicking to the reflection of the exits like she expected an attack. Nell sighed and shifted in her seat.

“Technically I shouldn’t have given you anything. The people I’m working with were clear that I should stay out of your investigation.” 

“How did you even know about it? There’s no connection to South America, as far as we can tell and the CIA haven’t tried to block us.” Callen asked, confused. Nell turned to him with a serious expression on her face.

“Carmichael is one piece on an ever changing, ever expanding board. A board that I’ve been trying to clear since I left.” Nell told him cryptically. “I felt that you and your team could help in taking out a portion of it whilst protecting the US and solving your case.” Callen frowned, leaned back in his chair and looked from Hetty and back to Nell.

“’Your team’?” he repeated. “I thought you were a part of my team, Nell. That whatever you’re doing is temporary.” He cocked a brow at her and waited for her response.

“I am. It is. Slip of the tongue.” Nell tried to dismiss but when she shared another look with Hetty Callen knew there was much more to it. “Take the Intel, Callen. It fills in all the gaps.” Nell went to stand but before he could ask her to stay, his cell rang. Reaching into his pocket he held a finger up to Nell.

“Just wait until I come back.” She searched his face for a moment “please.” Nell pursed her lips and nodded once. Callen nodded back, and left the shop with a ‘what you got, Eric?’

Turning back from watching Callen leave, Nell found Hetty staring at her.

“They deserve to know, Nell.” She said softly, a sad look on her face. Nell sighed and shook her head. 

“They can’t know, Hetty. Not right now. This case is too important to the bigger picture for them to be distracted.” Nell looked back out the front windows and saw Callen pacing, frowning at whatever Eric was telling him. “After.” Nell said as she turned back. “When the deal is stopped and this pipeline is shut down. Then they can know.” Hetty nodded and took another sip of her tea.

The ding of the bell above the door had them looking at Callen striding back over face blank, but Nell could see the pinch between his eyes.

“It looks like we’ve found our South American connection. Kensi and Deeks got into a gun fight with a couple of gang bangers.” He looked to Nell and continued, 

“The same gang bangers from the Espinoza cartel that were involved in the case the CIA took you to assist on. They recognised Kens and opened fire on the car.”

Nell closed her eyes and took a deep breath through her nose and whispered a barely audible “shit.” Looking up at Callen she asked “Are they ok?” Callen nodded.

“Yeah, not even a scratch.” Callen looked between his boss and Nell. “They have one on the way to the boat shed, after he’s been patched up. The other didn’t make it.”

“Good.” Nell said as she looked at Hetty who had a look of relief on her face. “That’s good.”

“I think it’s time for answers about what you’ve been up to for the past ten months, Nell. Especially seems as it obviously involves our case. You should come back with me.” Callen told her seriously. His team had just been shot at and he wasn’t in any mood for deciphering riddles about classified cases. “You obviously know more than you’re telling and I understand that you’ve told us more than you had to, already. But we need to know what we’ve stumbled in the middle of. People we care about could get hurt, otherwise.”

Nell sighed and scrubbed a hand over her forehead and ran her fingers through her hair in a frustrated gesture. Nodding she said, “Yeah. Ok. I’m going to need to make some calls to my handlers and beg a little forgiveness instead of asking permission, but, whatever. They owe me.”

“Mr Callen, why don’t you take Ms Jones to OSP and I’ll meet you there.” Hetty said as she handed Callen the flash drive and files.

“No, the boat shed would be better.” Nell interjected. At Callen’s quizzical look she clarified. “We’re going to end up there anyway. The CIA will want to know how much I’ve told you.” Standing up, Nell grabbed her bag and looked at Callen and Hetty. “I’ll meet you there.” Callen shook his head.

“No, I’ll take you.” At Nell’s burgeoning refusal Callen shook his head again “Kensi and Deeks haven’t been on the Espinoza case for nearly a year and they were still recognised. You’ve been working their case for longer and more closely; who’s to say they won’t recognise you too?”

“That’s exactly why we should go separately. I won’t put people I care about in any unnecessary danger.” Nell said, reiterating his point from earlier. She went to walk passed Callen when he took hold of her elbow.

“And I won’t have you out there with a target on your back. Not alone.”

Nell looked up into Callen’s face and was about to tell him she could look after herself, had been for nearly a year; when she felt his thumb rub small, soothing circles into the sensitive skin at the curve of her joint. She knew what he was doing; calming her and making her more amenable to his request. And it worked. “Ok.” She said in a quiet voice, knowing that Callen wouldn’t let it go and it would be nice not to be so on alert all the time; being with someone she trusted implicitly.

Callen let out a relieved sigh and said just as quietly. “Ok.” He turned back to Hetty and said. “We’ll go to the boat shed and have Nell brief the others.” She nodded in response and Callen turned to leave; towing Nell behind him, his hand still wrapped around her arm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nallen starts......NOW.
> 
> Thanks for the kudos and comments. Very much appreciated.
> 
> SJ x


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A drive, a heart to heart and some hello's.

The drive to the boat shed was quiet. Nell was sitting in the passenger’s seat, looking out of the window at the store fronts and stalls; eyes flicking to the wing mirror periodically, checking for tails. 

“You’re staring.” She said, breaking the silence and turning to smile at Callen; who had been, surreptitiously, checking on her in the rear-view mirror and throwing her glances from the corner of his eye. He turned his head to her slightly and raised a brow. “Not a criticism, just an observation.”

Callen nodded and turned back to the road. “And here I was thinking I had been sneaky.” And he really did think he had been. He was sure that the Nell from before wouldn’t have picked up on his fleeting looks. In fact he knew she hadn’t.

“What were you looking for?” Nell asked with a tilt of her head. Callen stilled for a moment and thought about how to answer her. 

The truth was he was trying to align the Nell who had left and the one that was sitting next to him. Noting the differences and hypothesising the causes. She was far more alert and suspicious of her surroundings and no longer had an excitable energy bubbling under the surface; she was more calm and subdued. He supposed that was a good thing, for whatever she had been doing, but he didn’t know if he liked it. He had quite enjoyed her enthusiasm for things. But he couldn’t deny that she intrigued him, too; the mix of old and new creating a puzzle he wanted to solve.

“I don’t know,” Callen hedged after a moment “it’s been a while, just trying to reacquaint myself, I suppose.” Nell studied his profile for a moment before finally nodding a turning to look back out the window. He noticed the way she was picking at the corner of her thumb and finally realised what he was asking her to do by coming back with him.“You know the team are just going to be glad to see you. There’s no need to be nervous; we’ve missed you. It’s not been the same with you away.”

Nell turned back to him with a slight smile and made her hand into a fist, fingers covering her thumb; hiding her tell. “It’s not nerves, exactly. Things are different now. I’m different.” Her hand reached up to her scar and Callen frowned. He didn’t want her feeling self conscious over something that, to his mind, only spoke of strength.

“Your scar isn’t anything to be ashamed of, Nell. Yeah, they’re going to react, but out of worry, nothing else. In this line of work everyone’s got them; they show what you’ve managed to survive.”

She was silent for a moment, just staring at Callen, considering his words. “I’m not ashamed; but I’m not proud either.” She let out a small sigh. “You’ll find out why at the briefing.” She said looking back to the wing mirror. Callen considered that for a moment; his mind putting together just how dangerous this case could get.

Callen slowed at a stop sign “No one’s following us, Nell. I took the long route and doubled back. You can stop checking the mirrors. You’re safe with me. I won’t let anything happen to you.” He wanted her to feel secure and protected with him; he had a feeling she hadn’t felt that way in a long while and that didn’t sit well with him. 

She looked back to him and stared, seriously. “And I won’t let anything happen to you because of what I’m dragging you into.” A small smile curved her lips and she shrugged. “’Constant vigilance.’ A motto to live by, Agent Callen.” Callen smirked and rolled his eyes, moving the car forward again. He knew that she was trying to lighten the mood but Callen didn’t want to do that. He wanted her to talk to him. To tell him what had her spooked.

“And who do you have to be vigilant of, Nell?” he asked, both needing and dreading an answer.

“I made enemies, when I was away. Most of them want me dead; doesn’t hurt to be cautious. In fact, it hurts not to be.” She told him evenly and Callen clenched his jaw. 

She was so to the point that it irritated him. He used to rather like her bluntness, now he found it to annoy him. What annoyed him more was that the CIA had put one of his people in that sort of danger and that he and his team hadn’t been there to watch her back. Everyone back at OSP had assumed that she was being used for skills as an analyst; that had obviously not been the case if there were people out and about who wanted to kill her. His hands tightened on the steering wheel and he tried to concentrate on his driving and not the knot of anxiety in his stomach.

“That made you angry.” Nell said turning in her seat to see him better. “Callen, you don’t do what I’ve been doing and come out the other end clean.” He turned to look at her then frown in place.

“And what is that, Nell?” the tone he spoke was harsher than intended, but Nell didn’t even blink. He tried to reel himself a bit but after nearly a year of not knowing anything he needed something.

“You’ll know soon enough. When we get to the others. It’ll be easier to tell you all at once.” 

“Good things come to those who wait?” Callen asked sarcastically, as he took a turn. Nell smiled and shook her head.

“Good? No. Informative? Very much so.” Callen wasn’t quite sure what to make of that and was glad when his phone beeped; it distracted him from what awful things his mind was conjuring up about Nell’s time away and why she was so hesitant to share any details. He swiped the screen to check the message at a red light.

“That was Sam. Kensi and Deeks just showed up with the prisoner. They’re waiting for us.” Callen told her. Nell nodded and released a shaky exhale. Noting her apprehension of seeing the team again, Callen reached over and gave her hand a small squeeze. She gave him an appreciative smile and clasped her other hand atop his. They stared at each other a moment and Callen thought he could see a flicker of the old Nell; that maybe she wasn’t irrevocably changed but rather she had just buried that part of herself in order to protect it. Callen liked that idea, that maybe she was different but not unrecognisable. She gave his hand a light squeeze and nodded her head to the light as it began to turn green.

“We don’t want to keep them.” Callen nodded and put his hand back to the steering wheel; glad to see that she seemed more relaxed. They made the last few turns in silence.

Callen pulled up in front of the boat shed, released his seat belt and turned to face Nell. “You ready?” he asked, searching her face. She nodded and turned to get out of the car but Callen saw the little bit of doubt and reached over and placed his hand on her knee before she opened the door and Nell stopped, turning back to him.   
“You can take a moment. If you want.” He offered, not wanting to rush her into anything. He was aware of how hard it was to come back from a long mission, to the people that knew you best and being concerned you wouldn’t live up to their expectations. 

Nell nodded and released a long, slow breath; linking her fingers with his on her leg. Callen was shocked, momentarily, by the contact but he shook it off. She needed his strength and assurance right then and he was more than willing to provide it, for as long as she needed. She looked up at him and his chest tightened at the uncertainty he saw in her eyes.

“I know that going away was the right thing to do. It’s just I never thought I would have to tell you all about it if I came back.” Callen constricted his fingers slightly at the word ‘if’ and Nell smiled sadly. “Callen, I was more than aware of the danger I was putting myself in by joining the CIA’s investigation. They made it clear that I might not make it back.” Callen’s face went blank, eyes stormy.

“Why weren’t we told this?” his voice was low and angry. Nell looked down to their joined hands and moved her thumb in soothing motions. 

“I didn’t want you all to worry about me more than you already would. You guys knowing wouldn’t have help me but it would have hurt you.” She said softly. Callen closed his eyes for a moment and sighed through his nose.

“And the only reason we’re going to know now is because it directly affects our case.” Callen deduced and she nodded. He should have expected it, really. Of course Nell had kept that from them; gotten Granger and Hetty to, also. He would have done the same. Why tell someone something that would upset them if they couldn’t stop the upset from happening in the first place. It didn’t make him feel any better about being deceived, though. He, instead, concentrated on the feel of her thumb against his skin, letting it ground him. Allowing the light touch to reassure him that while she had been in danger, was still in danger, she now had him and the others watching her back. “Don’t worry about what you have to tell us, Nell. Each and every person in that boat shed have done and seen things that mean they’ll understand and won’t judge.”

“I know. I just...just because I am different... it doesn’t mean that I want you all to look at me like I am.” Nell looked down and let her hair cover her face from Callen’s sight; but not before he saw the glint of tears in her eyes. He reached the hand that she wasn’t holding, over, and tucked the curls behind her ear; noting the softness of the strands running across his fingers. He brushed his thumb against the shell of her ear and waited for her to look at him. When she did, he smiled and dropped his hand.

“When you asked me earlier ‘what I was looking for’? I didn’t tell you the whole truth.” She frowned in question and he carried on. “I was looking for you. The ‘you’ you are right now. I was afraid that the CIA had done what the CIA do and taken what makes you the person you are, away. But they didn’t, Nell. You just adapted to a situation by accessing different parts of yourself. Parts that you already had and might not particularly like but probably saved your life. You may be different but you are still the Nell Jones that we care about. And that is all we’ll see.”

Nell stared at him for a moment and then nodded jerkily, blinking back the tears, before she gave him a grateful smile; small, but a smile all the same. “Thank you, Callen. I really needed to hear that.”

“Anytime.” And he meant it. Tilting his head he searched her face. “Are you ok?” he asked softly.

Nell nodded. “I am right now. Ask me again later?” 

Callen smiled and gave her fingers a squeeze. “Of course.” And he would. “Are you ready?” 

Nell took a deep breath through her nose and gave him a bright smile. “Yeah, I’m actually kind of excited now.” 

Untangling their hands with one more quick pressure and a smile they got out of the car. Callen placed a hand at the small of her back and he’d been right about the gun being there. Nell’s eyes were tracking her environment looking for possible attacks and Callen was impressed. She had an emotional moment but had switched back to agent mode straight away. Not that he would expect anything less from a perfectionist and professional like he knew Nell to be. Callen frowned down at her when he felt her slow and stop before they got to the entrance of the boat shed, she looked up at him with wide eyes and he understood. She didn’t want to go in first; she wanted to him to ease her in. He smiled and stepped in front of her, receiving a relieved sigh in response.

Callen walked into the boatshed in front of Nell and they could clearly hear Deeks holding court. “All I’m saying is that Callen didn’t mention anything about bullets or blood, so the meeting with Hetty’s source must have gone better than usual.” Callen snorted and walked further into the room, Nell obscured from view behind him; deciding to keep her reintroduction as light as he could.

“I don’t know Deeks, the meetings ongoing; there’s still plenty of time for bloodshed. Wouldn’t you say, Nell?” Callen said as he turned to the side and revealed her to the room. She smiled wide and let out a small laugh, playing along.

“The day is still young. Who’s to say what will happen.”

They turned to the rest of the room who were stuck in shocked silence; a silence broken by Deeks making a strange squeaking noise.

“Nell.” Kensi breathed a huge grin breaking her face as she strode towards her friend. Kensi enveloped her in a strong hug that Nell returned just as strongly. Kensi pulled back, arms still around Nell, and looked her in the face; tears making her eyes shine. “You’re back.” She said, voice a little choked

“For now.” Nell smiled and was gathered back up into her arms, rocking side to side in excitement. Callen skirted the scene and placed the files on the table, plugging in the flash drive; frowning to himself at ‘for now’. He didn’t like the idea of her coming back just to leave again. Especially with all he’d just learned. He knew that that was what would have happened anyway, but he found himself coming up with ideas on how to get her back from the CIA and out of danger.

“Hey, stop hogging little Miss Jones. I want a turn.” Deeks said as he made his way over to his partner a goofy grin on his face. Kensi released Nell, reluctantly and smacked Deeks in the shoulder for the interruption. “Ow!” he exclaimed rubbing the sore spot. “That had better not bruise, Kens, or you’ll have to kiss it better.” He said with a teasing smile; a smile that turned pleased when he looked at Nell and then disappeared completely when he saw her neck. “Nell?” he murmured with anger in his eyes and concern in his voice. Kensi hit him in the arm, again, to stop his staring but he ignored it, attention fully on Nell and her healed injury. Callen looked up and was glad that his assumption had been right and he wouldn’t have to intervene. Deeks was just concerned, nothing else.

Nell put fingers to her scar and tilted her head. “What? This old thing? Adds character, don’t you think?” she asked voice light and teasing. 

Deeks looked torn for a moment between his want to be serious and Nell’s obvious attempt at lessening the tension. Making a decision, he put on a smile that was partly genuine and scooped her up in his arms, lifting her from the ground. “You look beautiful.” He whispered into her ear, too low for anyone else to hear. Nell held him a little tighter and smiled into his neck. He put her back on the floor and placed his hands on her shoulders. “Beautiful and badass; Scars are like, super sexy.” Nell snorted and shook her head, glad for the joking.

“Well that is why I got it; to add to my allure.” Deeks and the others laughed and she caught sight of Callen over his shoulder, he gave her a small smile and went back to the files on the table. Seeing movement in the corner of her eye, Nell saw Sam approaching her, a soft smile on his face. Deeks only let go of her shoulders when he was dragged away by a huffing Kensi.

“Hey.” he said quietly, eyes scanning her from head to toe before opening his arms to her. Nell walked into his chest and felt his huge arms wrap around her in a gentle hold. She had never felt smaller.

“Hey.” She returned, muffled against his chest. He pulled back after a time and cupped her jaw on the side of her scar but not touching it. 

“Who do we have to hunt down?” He asked and she thought he was only half kidding. Smiling up at him she shook her head.

“No one.” He nodded and gave a curl a playful tug.

“I like the hair.” Nell laughed and ruffled the back of her head.

“Born more of necessity than fashion.” She admitted, “But it works so I can’t complain.” She took a few steps back from him and looked around the boat shed; taking in the smiling agents all glad of her return. “I’ve missed you guys.” She smiled taking her bottom lip between her teeth. She let out a breath through her nose, shoulders rising and falling with the inhale and exhale and clasped her hands in front of her. “Let’s get down to business.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you lovely people liked it. Thoughts and opinions welcome.

**Author's Note:**

> Seriosuly, Nallen is becoming a problem. More case based but only in a way to facilitate change. Nothing confusing. I'm not well versed enough in procedure and crime to write anything too in-depth.


End file.
